Its not an easy subject to talk about especially as if you're reading this you are likely to be planning your wedding to your soul mate, but with 42% of all marriages in the UK ending in divorce (101,077 marriages in 2015) the likelihood is that on your wedding day you will have a mix of step family attending…. So what is the step family wedding etiquette? What is common practice and how do you deal with your blended family at your wedding? The answer is there is no one strict rule, it varies from family to family and more importantly if your blended family are civil and get on with each other! But we have done some research and we have 5 top tips below to help things run that little more smoothly …..
1.The Wedding Invitation
The easiest way to sort this is to simply google step family wedding invitation templates, there are 100’s of variations online that you can use for your invites and will save you hours of agonising over wording. There are also variations if one side of your blended family are contributing to the wedding and the other are not etc etc etc …. Seriously there are many variations on line …. So save yourself a few hours and use a template.
2. Informing Your Photographer
Its a good idea to inform your photographer before hand of any delicate situations before the big day, make them aware of any absolute no no’s and combinations that need to avoided as to not cause upset or tempers to flare. Make a list of combinations for your photographer in advance and this will not only ensure you get all the shots you want but also keep Mum away from Dad if all they do is scream at each other when in the same airspace!
3. Talk To Your Parents Before The Big Day
If you have parents that are separated and perhaps don't get on or they don't get on with each others new partners its important to speak to each set of parents in advance. Be firm and set your intentions clearly, they need to remember it's YOUR day, and for one day they must make the effort to be civil to each other, or at least not start arguing during the wedding breakfast. Explain how important it is to you that they get along and do not cause any upset or ill feeling amongst other members of the family. Also explain how upset and disappointed you will feel if anything does go wrong on the day …. They are your parents and they love you so they don't want you to be upset on the happiest day of your life … but it doesn't hurt to remind them!
4. The Step Family Wedding Seating Plan
The easiest way to get around the issue of who sits next to who and where when it comes to a step family wedding is to have two top tables and seat your parents at separate tables, then split your most important guests between the two tables, that way both sets of parents still feel important and that they are sitting at the head tables.
5. Involve your step mum or dad if you want too.
This is probably one of the most delicate situations that you may come across when planning your wedding and you have a step family, tensions and emotions will be high and all sets of parents will probably want to help you with the planning of your big day. If you have a good relationship with your step parents and want to involve them then do so and don't feel guilty about this … especially if your step mum or dad has been a part of your life for many years and brought you up, the chances are, you getting married is no different to one of their blood children getting married, they have watched and helped you grow up, but in saying this just be mindful of your blood parents, especially mums if its their daughters getting married - they maybe a little more sensitive when you involve step mum (especially if they don't see eye to eye), but again it's about communication, she is your mum and holds the trump card and nothing or anyone is going to take that away from her - maybe just remind her of this if she gets upset.
But most of all remember that it is YOUR DAY! And that for one day your parents who are both fully grown responsible adults will have to just put up and shut up while their baby girl (or boy) gets married …. Its one day, they should be able to put their angst and ill feeling aside for 24 hours.
If you are getting married and looking for gifts for your mother of the bride or groom then head over to our sister company Violet & Roses wedding favours page and view their selection of handmade and personalised wedding favours and gifts, all items can be personalised (including adding step parents!) so get in touch if you are after something specific or specific wording you can not see - they provide a full bespoke service.
